Holy Friends Batman!

I had a friend Ricky. He was wonderful. He helped me bunches when we first moved here to Redford. He drove me a couple times to Indian Lanes to host karaoke. He gave me $$ to fix his computer once. His brother gave me a guitar to start learning on. Absolutely wonderful guy! I loved him dearly!

But he offered to buy me a wedding cake. I blogged about this before. Originally he was gonna help with the cak and the dress and his friend Annette was gonna help with the flowers. He even wanted me to go to a real baker to get it done instead of going with my friend Hazel. I refused. I stuck with Hazel (and she did a fabulous job btw) which turned out to be a blessing bcause in March when I talked to him about the cake he asked me how much it was going to be for the cake and I told him about $150 (it would have been around $300-$400 with a real bakery) and he told me he would only be able to give me $50 or $75 towards the cake. Fine. I was upset but whatever. My mom gave us some $$ towards the cake too...so it covered it if he would havegiven me the $$. I tried for about 2 weeks to get with Ricky to get the $$ for the cake and he wouldn't answer his phone or return my calls or return my IMs. Which is when my mom gave me the $$ for the cake and we pretty much wrote him off.

Around this same time Annette tells my mom she won't be able to help with the flowers like she had told me she would for about a year. Again no biggie. It worked out and I did my own for the reception and again my mom helped with the ceremony flowers (bouquets, boutineers, coursages) with the help of a contact she has.

Then about 6 weeks ago Ricky tells my mom he won't be here for the wedding anyway cuz he's planning on moving to Phoenix. So I don't send him an invitation. I mean it's not like I've spoken to him since early March. He wasn't returning any emails or IMs or phone calls. And I haven't seen him since, I don't know, around January I think. I went to his house to fix his puter and his brother gave me his old guitar and he gave me a floor lamp & some paint for the house.

Then about a month ago he's all "i didn't get my invitation" so I get his address and I send one and he RSVPs for 4 ...him, Annette, Celia and Esther. Still no $$ for the cake and no way to get in touch with him.

So the day of the wedding (i guess...I didn't get the IM until a couple days later....a little busy) he IMs me that they won't be there cuz he had a root canal. Here's exactly how the IMs go:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(friday may 5th)
RICKY (2:59:18 PM): Hi Jazz, I just wanted to let u know that Anette and I wont be able to make it today. I had to have a route canal doneon my tooth. I am in pain, I hope you understand. We do have a gift for you and Kevin and she will bring it buy.

RICKY (3:00:01 PM): I hope you have a wonderful Day and your wedding is success. I love you take care God Bless

(Monday may 8th)
magikjaz (2:06:28 PM): everything was wonderful. Sorry you missed it. Hope you're feeling better.

RICKY(6:58:32 PM): Hi Mrs. Benick how are u?

magikjaz (6:59:19 PM): hey
RICKY (7:29:40 PM): how wwas the wedding

magikjaz (10:35:04 PM): it was fabulous. i ended up having to pay hazel for the cake out of the $$ we made from our dollar dance since we never got together for you to give me the money you promised to help with the cake. I understand things come up...you should have just told me you changed your mind or that you couldn't. I was counting on that help from you. Oh well. Hope you're feeling better. I'll try and show you pics when we get them

(Wednesday May 10th)
RICKY (5:37:53 PM): Hello Jazz I am sorry you feel that way about me and the money for your cake. I did have to give to you at the wedding. If this is how you feel about me and the money. I went to alot of links to help you out as a friend I did things for you and you never called me about the gas money the night I took you to Indiana lanes.

RICKY (5:40:08 PM): I never judged you or excepted anything from our friendship. That was not my responabiltiy bring you the money you could have called and come by and got it. This how i feel our friendship is over because shows me how u feel about our realtionships and what you need from me. I wish you a good life and do not bother me again. Thanks and God Bless bye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now I'm the bad guy for saying something. And not paying him the $10 for gas money when he drove me to indian Lanes. Yes he went above and beyond at times being a friend and yes I owe him. But I didn't ask him to be my wedding cake sponsor. He offered. He flat out told me "i'll buy you your wedding cake." just like Larry flat out said "I'll buy you your wedding dress" And when Larry and I had a fight last year Ricky told me "I'll help you with your wedding dress cuz Larry won't" and "i'm still going to help you with your wedding cake"

So I'm going to send him a check for $25...that sshould cover gas money as well as cigarettes he bought me those couple times he took me to indian lanes. And I'm going to send it in a Thank you note. I'm going to explain how I feel.. And frankly I'm done with it. I am sorry he feels this way but what can I do. I thought I handled it well.