Dealing with the In Law

So...Kevin and I went over to his parents' house today to celebrate his dad's and his nephew's bday (they're both tomorrow) It was decent. Gave people their invitations as soon as we walked in practically. Talked a bit about the wedding but nothing major. Have a decent meal finished w/ cake and ice cream. I need to mention there is NO ALCOHOL CONSUMED! THIS ALL HAPPENS STONE COLD SOBER! As we're getting ready to leave his mom asks me about the shower. I honestly don't know what to say. So I suggest if they really want to do one, to have a small get together with family. That I don't really have a whole lot of people to invite. Didn't even get to mention that I'd rather have the money lol. Seriously...why spend $200 on a shower I don't really need. Give us that money so we can spend it on wedding stuff we do need...like booze (lol) Then his mom brings up Aunt Mickey and Aunt Sue. OMG

I try to keep it cool. That I understand their are issues but it's important to us that Sue be there as she is Kevin's godmother. And MIckey's still invited to the reception. I explain I know there are issues and that if Mickey shows Sue won't, so to keep the peace this is what we came up with. I explain I don't care what the issues are. That it's kevin's GODMOTHER and he wants her there. She tells me we're letting Sue dictate our wedding. That's when I lost it and things get fuzzy. I know I started yelling and she yelled back telling me not to point my finger at her...that I'm in her house and she's Kevin's mother so I should show some respect...I know I said something about Mickey being here twice a year and never making an effort to see Kevin...hell we never get a christmas card from her...Which Kerryann buts in and says "oh 3 times she tried to see you" I'm sorry but 3 times is supposed to make up for everything. Once we weren't even in state, and the other time kevin remembers anyone mentioning Mickey being in town was a friday afternoon that they were all meeting friday night. Nice notice. I mean it's not like she doesn't plan these trips in advance as she is coming in from Georgia. Even a week's notice and Kevin can get the night off work (he works every weekend as he is the executive chef in a restaurant and fri & Sat are traditionally their busiest nights) I know I yelled something about how we've been together 6 years and the ONLY time I met her was at her mother's funeral for about 5 minutes. And I remember telling her AGAIN that Sue is Kevin's godmother...to which she said "So?" ... in case this means nothing to you, Kevin's mom is always always ALWAYS telling kevin to remember he's Zach's godfather and how important it is to have a special relationship with him because of that etc....so how come it's important for Kevin to have a relationship with his godson but not his godmother? OH! and she sais something about how Aunt Sue is only talking to us "since you got the house" i mean seriously...WTF is that supposed to mean?

So finally I left. I was prepared to call my mother to come pick me up or something. I didn't know I didn't care. Wait in the car until Kevin left. Whatever. Well Kevin walked out right after me. Apparently his mom told him "well then I guess I'm not going to go to your wedding either" Yeah. That's nice.

So I'm sure I"m going to be vilified. I called his other brother and spoke to his wife (they had left already) to fill them in on what happened. I mean I was shouting and swearing I was so mad. HOw dare she say Aunt Sue is dictating our wedding when she's basically blackmailing her son "well if Mickey's not able to be there then I'm not going either" I mean we have bent over backwards to figure out a simple solution to this problem. And wtf is the big deal anyway? His Aunt Mickey has NEVER wanted to be a part of Kevin's life in the almost 6 years we have been together. Why is this so important that she be there? And why can't she see that we have tried to make this work. We're already compromising. We already came up with a solution. She doesn't like it? Too bad! It's our wedding not hers. This isn't a decision we came to quickly or lightly. We pondered this and discussed it many nights to figure it out.

Kevin says it's a miracle we haven't come to a head like this until now. And that if his mom were healthy we'd be butting heads all over the place about this wedding. I say he's most probably right. But I refuse to back down. Julie (kevn's sis in law) even said It's our decisions to make. And she needs to learn to respect them. Yes she's Kevin's mother...but I"m soon to be his wife. I've been with him almost 6 years thru good and bad...and believe me we have had ALOT of bad to get to the good we have right now.

I've calmed down alot, thanks to Julie and a chat with my sister as well...plus the extreme venting and crying I did on the car ride home. Velisia suggested I wait a week (that's how long kevin says it takes his mom to calm down) and call to apologize for blowing up the way i did, but this is the way it's going to be. That I really want her at the wedding. and If she can't understand, well, at least I've spoke my piece and put the ball in her court.

Plus I'm going to have Kevin call his Aunt Mickey tomorrow to find out what the deal is anyway. I mean seriously why is this even an issue? I know she's his aunt, but she has to respect that Sue, regardless of whatever issues there are (and there are big ones...obviously between Pam (kevin's mom) and Sue as well...I didn't realize how much until tonight) that Sue is Kevin's godmother and that we are just trying to keep a situation from happening.

Personally I'm so frigging sick of this I'm ready to not have anyone there. I mean, why can't people just suck it up and be happy for us. Why is this even an issue I have to defend anyway. Suck it up, stay on opposite sides of the room, and just be happy for us.

OMG I'm so mad about this still. And this is nothing to do with is I like Sue more than Mickey. This is about having Kevn's godmother, who is making the wedding shawl BY THE WAY, at his wedding. It's a perk that I like her so much. And it's not that I don't like MIckey...I don't know her. I mean almost 6 years I'm been with Kevin and not even a phone call or a christmas card...so this outrage at her not being invited to the actual wedding ceremony is just laughable.

Anyway...I must get off the puter and back to something constructive...altho I'm totally not in the wedding mood anymore. Maybe I'll drown my sorrows in some chai. And contemplate if it's too late to go to Vegas lol.