Guest List issues
(warning...curse words...mainly one used many times)
So we go to dinner with kevin's fam...originally supposed to be just me and him and his parents...turns out to be the big family circus of everyone going (which means 11 people...including 3 kinds under 6) which i'm kinda excited about when i learn it's just me and kevin and his parents i figure we'll talk about the wedding. Even with the whole family there i think we can at least get the guest list settled. NOOOOOOOOOOO! First off we're seated as far away from his parents as possible cuz the grandkids have to sit next to gramma and papa. fine. So I sit next to my future sisters-in-law and share plans with them. We don't even get to discuss the guest list with kevin's parents until we're LEAVING! So I say "hey mom,(which i hate calling her "mom" and kevin's dad "dad" cuz I have my own parents thank-you-very-much but I suck it up cuz that's what they want me to call them)... I'm gonna call you this week to get the guest list finalized on your side and get addresses." She tells me "i don't have addresses but I will tell you who I want"...okay this gets me going. not "who i would like you to invite" but "who I want" EXCUSE ME!?! you haven't offered to pay for a goddamn thing in our wedding whereas my mom and dad and step mom are contributing close to $1000 combined when it's all totalled. Then she says we have to choose between Kevin's GODMOTHER, her sister, Aunt Sue, or her other sister, Mickey, who comes into town and never bothers to get in touch with Kevin...I've only met her once (@ kevin's grandmother's funeral 4 years ago)...and proceeeds to say that Sue wouldn't come if we invite Mickey and we should choose Mickey anyway cuz they weren't invited to Sue's ons' wedding (michael) and as a matter of fact we shouldn't even invite Michael since they weren't invited to his wedding. EXCUSE ME!?!?! ARE YOU PAYING FOR MY FUCKING WEDDING!>!>! Not so much as a fucking $100 for a deposit for the fucking hall they were supposed to arrange to get for us for free.
So I told her that I was going to invite whomever I chose to invite and if they didn't want to come that's fine. And if they did they better not fight there ...put their pettiness aside cuz it's our day of celebration. I told her that I said the same thing to my dad about his mom & my aunt who are fighting amongst themselves. To be honest...if we had our absolute way, not a single fucking family member outside of immediate would be invited anyway. We're doing this out of respect. I've met Kevin's extended family on his dad's side 2xs and on his mom's side once...aside from his Aunt Sue who is making us our wedding shawl and is absolutely dear to me. I talk to her on the phone for hours at a time I love her!
Unlike kevin's fucking Aunt Mickey who comes into to town 2 times a year...so she's been in town 10 times since kevin and I have been together...and she never calls kevin to see him, never sends a fucking xmas card, not a fucking email, not even a message thru his brother Keith (whole other issue there) or his mom.Then she has the nerve to say to Keith's wife Karyann "i might not be able to get there I need advance notice" FUCKING BITCH! If you kept in contact with your fucking nephew you would know when we're getting married. Shit I talk to my aunt Arcie in Georgia maybe 3 times a year, but she knows when we're getting married. She even offered me her bouquet holder (crystal...beautiful)
So I'm calling tomorrow to get her "list" of people she "wants" and also verifying the nubmer of people my stepmom and dad are inviting and my mom and we're ordering our invitations this week. We're sending them out later than i wanted ...around the end of feb with RSVPs due by April 1st... and I will be so happy when we're done with this shit.
OH! and unrelated to guest list...my future sis-in-law Julie wants to make my wedding shoes. MAKE THEM? is she nutes!?! maybe slippers I will put on at the reception, but i'm not wearing homemeade fucking crap to walk down the aisla and marry the man of my dreams. I'm wearing dyed to match 3 inch fantasy heels.
OY!
So we go to dinner with kevin's fam...originally supposed to be just me and him and his parents...turns out to be the big family circus of everyone going (which means 11 people...including 3 kinds under 6) which i'm kinda excited about when i learn it's just me and kevin and his parents i figure we'll talk about the wedding. Even with the whole family there i think we can at least get the guest list settled. NOOOOOOOOOOO! First off we're seated as far away from his parents as possible cuz the grandkids have to sit next to gramma and papa. fine. So I sit next to my future sisters-in-law and share plans with them. We don't even get to discuss the guest list with kevin's parents until we're LEAVING! So I say "hey mom,(which i hate calling her "mom" and kevin's dad "dad" cuz I have my own parents thank-you-very-much but I suck it up cuz that's what they want me to call them)... I'm gonna call you this week to get the guest list finalized on your side and get addresses." She tells me "i don't have addresses but I will tell you who I want"...okay this gets me going. not "who i would like you to invite" but "who I want" EXCUSE ME!?! you haven't offered to pay for a goddamn thing in our wedding whereas my mom and dad and step mom are contributing close to $1000 combined when it's all totalled. Then she says we have to choose between Kevin's GODMOTHER, her sister, Aunt Sue, or her other sister, Mickey, who comes into town and never bothers to get in touch with Kevin...I've only met her once (@ kevin's grandmother's funeral 4 years ago)...and proceeeds to say that Sue wouldn't come if we invite Mickey and we should choose Mickey anyway cuz they weren't invited to Sue's ons' wedding (michael) and as a matter of fact we shouldn't even invite Michael since they weren't invited to his wedding. EXCUSE ME!?!?! ARE YOU PAYING FOR MY FUCKING WEDDING!>!>! Not so much as a fucking $100 for a deposit for the fucking hall they were supposed to arrange to get for us for free.
So I told her that I was going to invite whomever I chose to invite and if they didn't want to come that's fine. And if they did they better not fight there ...put their pettiness aside cuz it's our day of celebration. I told her that I said the same thing to my dad about his mom & my aunt who are fighting amongst themselves. To be honest...if we had our absolute way, not a single fucking family member outside of immediate would be invited anyway. We're doing this out of respect. I've met Kevin's extended family on his dad's side 2xs and on his mom's side once...aside from his Aunt Sue who is making us our wedding shawl and is absolutely dear to me. I talk to her on the phone for hours at a time I love her!
Unlike kevin's fucking Aunt Mickey who comes into to town 2 times a year...so she's been in town 10 times since kevin and I have been together...and she never calls kevin to see him, never sends a fucking xmas card, not a fucking email, not even a message thru his brother Keith (whole other issue there) or his mom.Then she has the nerve to say to Keith's wife Karyann "i might not be able to get there I need advance notice" FUCKING BITCH! If you kept in contact with your fucking nephew you would know when we're getting married. Shit I talk to my aunt Arcie in Georgia maybe 3 times a year, but she knows when we're getting married. She even offered me her bouquet holder (crystal...beautiful)
So I'm calling tomorrow to get her "list" of people she "wants" and also verifying the nubmer of people my stepmom and dad are inviting and my mom and we're ordering our invitations this week. We're sending them out later than i wanted ...around the end of feb with RSVPs due by April 1st... and I will be so happy when we're done with this shit.
OH! and unrelated to guest list...my future sis-in-law Julie wants to make my wedding shoes. MAKE THEM? is she nutes!?! maybe slippers I will put on at the reception, but i'm not wearing homemeade fucking crap to walk down the aisla and marry the man of my dreams. I'm wearing dyed to match 3 inch fantasy heels.
OY!
posted by Magikjaz @ 9:44 PM
4 Comments:
At Monday, February 06, 2006 9:48:00 PM,
Magikjaz said…
wow! sorry about the typos! it's late and I've had a couple. Please forgive me!
At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 4:15:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
All I can say, is take the lists you get from family and you and Kevin sit and look at them. Dont worry about who they say to invite and all. You two look at them and remove those you dont wish to invite (or invite to reception only) and add on those that you want. Dont worry about what anyone else says. No matter if they are helping pay or not. They choose to help pay as a gift, its not an obligation. Just because they pay for something, doesnt give them a say in how things will be. Its YOURs and KEVINs day. Not anyone else. And if someone gives you hell about it, tell them its just as well and you and him can go get married in front of a JOP!
At Thursday, February 09, 2006 10:27:00 AM,
julie said…
when you're in the planning stage, everything feels rage-worthy. remember: the day after this huge all-about-you hooplah, these people will BE YOUR FAMILY. at this point who pays for what, who comes or doesn't come, who talks to your husband or not is irrelevant. stay on task bride-girl. if you must limit the number of guests because of cost, it's perfectly acceptable to give mom in law a set number of invites allowed: "we've only allotted 20 people for you and dad in law," if she calls you next week with 40, say, "okay, the other 20 will be $10 a head." if that upsets her, then it's her deal. also, i think it's ridiculous that she makes you call her mom if you don't want to. set your boundaries now; call her what you want to and if she complains maybe say something like, "i'd rather call you by your first name for now," give her a little hug and say,"one day i'll call you mom."
just my two cents...good luck.
At Monday, February 13, 2006 10:17:00 AM,
Magikjaz said…
*huggles* thanks for your advice! I'm much calmer now...but still haven't called her about the guest list lol...i'm such a chicken
Post a Comment
<< Home